Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Why do we think we're flawed?

But really now,  why do we think we’re flawed?  Let’s face it, we’re human, we ALL have flaws.  Both seen and unseen. 

I struggled with buying clothes in larger sizes than I used to.  I have IBS, so I have to buy pants that are sufficiently comfortable, so I can’t squeeze myself into something smaller.   I can deal with that now.  It is what it is.  However… when I go to buy a bathing suit, or sometimes even shirts,  I have to buy a Large.  Now… I know I’ve gained some weight in recent years.  I can deal with that too, I’m over 30, my body has changed.  But I don’t see myself as ‘large’.  Medium yes, but Large?  Honestly, no.  It’s almost laughable, but then I think of the girls who are slightly bigger than myself that might be considered large-ish,   who will now need to buy XL or bigger, when they’re just not XL. 

Who decides what is large and small?  When I was underweight I could wear XS shirts.  But even looking back,  I should still have been a Small or Medium. 

I can buy two pairs of pants, from the same brand, in the same size, and they will both fit differently.  Case in point, I bought a size 10 capris and a size 11 capris from the same brand name.  The size 10 fits better than the size 11, which is too tight.  Wtf is up with that?  How much does THAT screw with people’s minds?? Especially those that are self conscious about it.  I am aware of my size, but not overly concerned about it.  But if someone is really preoccupied with their size and those numbers, it must be an absolute nightmare to shop.  For me it’s a nightmare because I don’t like to shop, and I don’t like to have to try on every single thing I want to buy. There should be some consistency within a brand.   I had a pair of jeans that I loved, which were size 9.  I ordered 2 more pairs, and guess what?  When they arrived, far too small.  I’m assuming that the original size 9 was mislabeled.  I hope.

Do I think the fashion industry does this on purpose?  Not directly.  Their models are what they see as ‘beautiful’ right now, not yesterday or in the future.  They are tiny, so the clothes are designed as such.   But are they the regular?  Absolutely not.  I have to say I may have met 1 person in my entire life that fits that concept.   Then we get into some of the ‘plus’ models.  I read an article the other day about a plus size model.  She was a size 12, with a smaller waist than me.  That is not anywhere near a real plus size. 

And it’s not just a female thing anymore, men feel the pressure as well.  But their sizes in clothes are more consistent.  They’re not as concerned with the numbers as women are, for whatever reason. 

But really, who set this standard?  Who said if you’re “…” you’re overweight, or ugly, or unacceptable by today’s standards?    I would hope that most of us know that the women on the cover of those magazines isn’t ‘real’.  The pictures can be airbrushed to make you skinny,  with flawless skin.  And then there are those blessed with flawless skin,  which is awesome! 

I try not to dwell on my body’s ‘flaws’ too much.  Of course there are things I don’t necessarily like (I have the knobbiest knees ever!)  but overall, I like my body.  Sometimes I question why I’m adding exercise and calorie watching to my lifestyle.  Right now I’m convincing myself that it’s for my health, which is partly true.  I’m almost 34, if I don’t start something now, it will be harder when I really need to in case I develop thyroid problems or diabetes, both run in my family.  But underneath that, there’s this little person that remembers when I was ‘skinny’.   I have to constantly remind myself that when I was ‘skinny’, I was also malnourished and uber stressed.  I was not healthy, physically or mentally.  The body I have now is healthier than before, and I’m happier than I ever was before.

Do you accept your body the way it is? With all it’s flaws?

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